


John is Santa

by aquatarius



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Christmas, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 02:30:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8950399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquatarius/pseuds/aquatarius
Summary: New Earth doesn't have Christmas or 12th Perigee's eve, but they sure as hell have Wind Day and they sure as hell have John Egbert.





	

  Santa is a foreign concept to the New Earthers. After all, since they didn’t have a Saint Nicolas, they don’t have a Santa! They don’t even have a proper _Christmas_ , since the idea of Christianity and Jesus didn’t pass over to the new universe. Karkat is just as scandalized about them not having the Sufferer inspired 12th Perigee’s Eve as you are that they don’t have Christmas.

  They do, thankfully, have a winter holiday that they call Wind Day. It’s a homage to you, you’ve learned. It’s pretty weird that one of the only people who don’t have a birthday in December is the one who ends up with their holiday in December! It’s pretty cool to have a holiday dedicated to you, though, so you can’t complain.

  You’re the God of Breath, and you apparently drop off presents via the Wind. You wonder why they don’t have your Class along with your title, but you zoned out when Rose tried to explain it to you. She’s really wordy sometimes.

  All the people are like, weirdly excited to have you there as their New Earth Santa. They gave you a parade and everything! The statues depicting you were inaccurate but some of them were really funny. You don’t really mind harlequins anymore, which is good since your imagery depicted you either with them or as one. (There was this sudden feeling in your gut when you saw the first one, as if you’d been punched, but you shoved it down and forgot about it at once.)

  After the parade was a huge feast with tons of sweets! And a bon fire with a loooot of shaving cream. It sort of exploded, and all the people cheered and clapped.

  There is a gift giving, which is about the only thing that’s the same as Christmas and 12th Perigee’s Eve. The gift giving varies from kingdom to kingdom, but what happens is that people throw boxes into the wind. The wind carries the boxes to the houses.

  The Wind, you’ve realized, is a sort of thing like the Breeze from your planet. It flows one day a year, on Wind Day. And, since you’re the wind god, obviously you’re the patron god of this holiday and the person to pray to when people think the breeze won’t bring them any gifts.

  It’s not until you stumble home, stuffed with way too much food and holding way too many things, and drop everything on the ground that it hits you.

  They’re praying to you. You can feel it, every single one of those prayers, and it’s all hitting you at once. You actually fall over and land on your face like an idiot. You pull yourself over to the couch, and wheeze for a few moments before the prayers ease off. Maybe it’s more you getting used to them than them stopping.

  You know what you need to do. You need to give gifts to your followers. You jump off the couch, and hurry into the kitchen. It takes a few moments of rummaging through drawers to find a pencil and a pad of papers. You start making a list of the requests you’re getting as you pester everyone, excitement getting the better of you as you rush to write down everything in your head.

  You call up Roxy, first of all, and get her on her way. Then Jade, Dave, and Rose. They rush over, probably panicked. Heh, you sort of left concerning messages about them coming over right away because you needed their help’. Oops.

  Roxy comes first, banging open the door when she arrives and hollering your name.

  “Over here!” You call. She skids into the kitchen, where you’re hunched over an piece of paper and scribbling names and presents.

  “John?” She asks, tipping her head to the side and raising an eyebrow.

  “Hey, can you help me tonight?” You ask, holding out a piece of paper.

  “Uh, ya?” Roxy asks it rather than says it and you grin as you shove a piece of paper into her hand.

  “Go ahead and get all that stuff from the void.” You say.

  Dave and Jade come next, dragging a sleepy looking Karkat behind them.

  “Hey!”

  “Sup.”

  “Fuck you with a spiky rod for getting me out of bed at this hour, and what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “I’m sending people presents!” You say. Karkat stares at you as if you’re the dumbest thing he’s ever seen, but you ignore him and explain what you want Jade and Dave to do.

  Jade gasps and her tail starts to wag.

  “Ooooh, that’s such a good idea! We’ll totally help!” Jade says. “Where do you want me to start?”

  “I guess I’m on time shit?” Dave asks.

  “Yes, Dave, and Jade, can you get the furniture out of here?” You say, heading back into the kitchen. There’s some affirmations yelled after you and that’s good enough for you.

  Roxy is doing good, already surrounded by things. You hop over a skateboard and a bottle of perfume to get back to your lists. You hear Jade welcoming Rose and explaining to her. Rose pokes her head in the kitchen.

  “Roxy, would you mind getting me some wrapping paper, tape, and scissors?” She asks.

  “Sure, I’ll have John bring them in in a minute.” Roxy says, waving her hand. Rose ducks out, and Roxy hums a note. Then she spreads out her hand, and a tube of blue wrapping with wind sigils on it drops onto her lap.

  She flashes you a grin, and you smile back. You have to admit, that’s a pretty good idea! She passes you the wrapping and you bring it in to Rose. She smiles when she sees it, and Karkat swears loudly.

  You laugh as you head into the kitchen, and keep making lists. You make trips between the kitchen and the upstairs where the machines from the Game are, and bring presents out to Rose to help her. There’s several Daves helping you run things around and one speeding up Rose’s present wrapping.

  “Hey, Egbert!” Karkat yells as you dash past him to drop some presents in front of Rose. He’s been roped into present wrapping, and he’s honestly really shitty at it! He grabs your wrist and tugs you down a little. “When are you going to send this shit out? It’s getting crowded in here. I swear to the fucking Handmaid that I _will_ start eating these things if you don’t get some of them out here.”

  He does sort of have a point. Even Jade’s spacy powers aren’t doing well against the growing piles of presents!

  “Fine, fine, Karkat.” You say, pulling away from Karkat.

  You grab some of the presents and hurry up to your room. (That’s where things have to be thrown from. It’s _tradition_.) You open the window, and sure enough, there’s a breeze out there.

 It’s strong and it feels so…familiar. It feels _right_ in a way you can’t explain. You stick your head out the window and The Breeze tousles your hair like a proud parent. Your emotions are hard to describe. Bittersweet is probably the best word for this moment. A piece of paper swirls in the air, and you don’t need to look at it to know that your father is proud of you.

  You pick up the first gift, and toss it out the window. The Breeze catches it and whirls it away to it’s destination. You exhale slowly and it feels like a huge burden is lift up your shoulders. With a laugh, you start tossing out the other presents as well.

  The rest of your night is spent throwing the gifts out your window. One of the Daves offer to help, but you don’t let them. This is your task. You are the God of Wind. You’re New Santa. As the night dwindles on, some of the Daves disappear, presumably finishing their time loops. People droop, and Karkat curls up on the couch to finish his night of rest, ignoring Rose’s request for wrapping help.  

  Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, a few minutes before dawn, you throw the last gift out the window, and trudge downstairs. Rose and Jade are leaning on each other, and Jade’s eyes are closed. The Main Dave is leaning against the wall pretending to be totally cool but his hair is in a sad state of disrepair and sweat shines on his forehead.  In fact, Roxy is the only one who seems to be totally willing to tackle more gifts, and that’s probably due to the coffee in her hand.

  “All done?” Roxy asks. You nod, and she pumps her fist. “Hell yeah! The gods get the shit done one more time. This should totally be something we do every year.”

  You wait for someone to protest, but no one does. Dave shrugs his shoulders when you look at him.

  “Only if Dirk has to come too.” Dave says.

  You laugh, and drop onto the ground, leaning your back against the wall. The sun shines through your window, lighting up your floor and a lone harlequin. Yeah. This should totally be tradition.


End file.
